Understanding How Faith Grows
How to help foster the developing faith of the children and teens in your church
In Paul’s second letter to the Thessalonians, he prays a prayer of thanks for the church because of their growing and maturing faith.
We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.
2 Thessalonians 1:3
What does it mean to “grow in faith”? What even is this faith that we are meant to be growing?
Defining Christian Faith
My shorthand for “faith” in the New Testament is knowing, loving and obeying King Jesus.
Firstly, faith is about knowing “stuff” about Jesus. Which is why learning the stories of the Bible, theological doctrines, catechisms, creeds and memorisation of Bible verses are all important parts of the Christian life.
But faith is not only knowing about Jesus. Faith is a trust and relationship with Jesus. While I can know a lot about several long-dead historical figures, I cannot have a relationship with them. But the Christian message includes the historical account of Jesus’ resurrection and ascension. As the angels ask, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?” (Lk. 24:5). Because Jesus is eternally alive with the Father, through the Holy Spirit I can have a living relationship with him. I can love Jesus, through listening to his Word and responding through prayer and song.
Finally, faith is obeying Jesus. James tells us that “faith without deeds is dead” (James 2:26). Jesus tells his disciples that “If you love me, keep my commands” (John 14:15). Because Jesus is King, we, his subjects, are to keep his commands.
So Christian faith is all three: knowing about, loving relationship with, and obeying the commands or our risen Lord and King, Jesus. Therefore, when we want to grow in our faith—when we want to help our children, teenagers, and each other, grow in their faith—we are seeking for them to grow in their knowledge of, love towards, and obedience to, King Jesus.
Stages of Faith
When it comes to Children’s and Youth Ministry, there is an extra layer of complexity in talking about a growing faith as we also take into account all the other ways that young people are developing.
John Westerhoff III, in his book Will Our Children Have Faith? provides a helpful understanding of how Christian faith develops, most especially for those growing up in Christian homes. Westerhoff defines four “stages” of faith and the typical (though by no means necessary) age range in which each stage occurs: Experienced Faith (0-6 years), Affiliative Faith (7-11 years), Searching Faith (teens-YA), Owned Faith (adulthood).
Experienced Faith can be summarised as “I believe what those I trust believe.” Faith at this stage is absorbed through relationships, especially through parents and family, but also through safe and caring environments in churches and children’s ministry. It recognises that faith is experienced before it is understood. It is based on trust, emotion, and imitation.
Affiliative Faith can be summarised as “I believe because we believe.” Faith at this stage in centred around belonging to the community. Essential to this stage is a child’s ability—and permission—to genuinely participate in their faith through the reading of Scriptures, prayer, sacraments (Communion), and other faith practices.
Searching Faith is the faith of the adolescent years and can be summarised as “I’m not sure what I believe — but I want to make it my own.” At this stage, teens are beginning to question their inherited beliefs, explore alternatives, doubt, and seek personal understanding. This can be an anxious time for parents, leaders and loved ones, as we potentially see our kids pulling back from faith and asking hard things. While it will look different for every child, this time is important for their faith development. We can support our kids by allowing them to ask hard questions, search with them for good answers, and be a consistent and faithful presence with them, even while they doubt.
Owned Faith is the final stage of faith and can be summarised as “This is what I believe and how I choose to love.” Faith here is now personal, committed, and freely chosen. This is the stage that we prayerfully anticipate each of our young ones arriving at: a faith of firm convictions that shapes the personal decisions we make each day. Yet, we are painfully aware that not every young person who has grown through the previous three stages, reaches this stage of mature, owned, Christian faith.
Now, there are several important caveats to be aware of in Westerhoff’s description of these stages of developing faith. Firstly, at no point in time is Westerhoff trying to determine when faith becomes “real”. These are not salvation categories. The experienced faith of the toddler is “real” faith. They can be, and frequently are, real disciples of Jesus. And they will evidence their real Christian faith through imitation of their trusted Christian adults.
Secondly, these stages are typical of those growing up in Christian homes, who have a Christian faith modelled to them in the household. The faith story gets much more complicated when we start to talk about those young people from non-Christian families who may come into our churches and ministries and hear the gospel story for the first time as children, teenagers, or in adulthood.
Thirdly, Westerhoff is describing the social and psychological components of faith. He is very aware of the fact that the Holy Spirit will do as he pleases in the life of the Christian. There is a beautiful freedom in the work of the Holy Spirit that cannot be categorised or systematised. Having said that, within the boundless freedom of God, he also typically works in developing faith through stages that we can describe. So these are helpful, but not concrete, categories.
Finally, spiritual maturity is not the same thing as developmental maturity. We can be tempted to undervalue the faith of young children because they do not yet have the language to describe their faith. We can also overvalue the faith of articulate teenagers or adults because of their more mature use of language and abstract concepts. This is a mistake. Again, because of the work of the Holy Spirit in individuals’ lives, we can have a spiritually mature 4-year-old and a spiritually immature 40-year-old.
So What?
What do we do with this understanding of how faith develops over time, especially as a church that values young people as the church of today, not just of tomorrow? Here are three things to get you started.
Child Faith is Real Faith
Believing in King Jesus because those they trust believe in King Jesus is exactly the kind of faith that God has given to our infants and young children. Mimicking their parents as they clasp their hands in prayer, repeating the words of simple prayers and creeds, listening to the same Bible stories being read, helping serve food or drinks at a meal: each of these are the God-given ways in which very young children evidence their real faith in the Jesus they are still growing to know. Their inability to articulate the Christian faith does not exclude them from participating in the family of God. Watch for these moments, celebrate them, and share them with others.
Teenage Faith is Not a Smooth Road
As we’ve already noted, the doubts and questions that can come during the adolescent years of searching faith can be an anxious time for their family, friends and church community. But we must not equate the questioning of faith with the loss of faith. Doubts play an important role in adolescents working out who they are. What our questioning teenagers most need is a safe environment and safe relationships within which they can ask their questions, doubt their doubts, and engage with the concepts of Christianity in a non-anxious environment. Parents continue to be an essential part of this journey, and the parent’s own faith is strong evidence of the truthfulness and trustworthiness of Jesus. However, Christian peers, mentors and other safe adults are also essential at this stage. Parents, engage regularly with the pastors and youth leadership team at your church and support and encourage each other. Non-parents, look out for the teenagers in your church, getting to know them, engaging them in conversation, encouraging them, and being another safe adult that they can witness knowing, loving and obeying King Jesus.
Pray For the Children and Youth of Your Church
Our faith is ultimately a gift from God and is matured by the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The same is true of the young people at our church. Therefore, pray for the children and teenagers of your church, that God may mature them in faith and may continue to “unblind their eyes” so they may see the truth of the Gospel (2 Cor. 4:3-6). Pray for those whose searching faith has, at this time, led them away from Jesus, that they, like the prodigal son, will be dissatisfied with what the world offers and will wake up to the satisfaction that is found in returning home and belonging to the household of the Father. Pray for the parents and leaders at church who seek to model faith to our youngest brothers and sisters, that they may do so in truth and love, with warmth and a non-anxious presence that gives space for each child’s individual walk of discipleship. And finally, be the church for the children and teenagers in your context. May they find in you brothers and sisters, Christian uncles, aunties, mentors and friends, that can walk beside them as they grow in faith so that each day you can give thanks for them “and rightly so, because their faith is growing more and more, and the love all of them have for one another is increasing.”